- I have issues with money
No I’m not a shopaholic or anything like that. When I say I have issues with money I mean everything I do, every decision I make is all to insure that I will one day have enough money to live a relatively comfortable life. I’m not looking to be rich just above the poverty line would be nice. This does not however stop me from spending money on stupid shit. Though I have curbed it slightly, I allow myself budget out of each paycheck to spend on whatever my heart desires. I’ve found this really helps when deciding if I really need another book or tube of lipstick.
- I talk to myself constantly.
Have you ever seen that person muttering to themselves, either imaginary conversations with someone obviously not there or having a physical discussion with themselves. That’s me and I’m often not aware I’m doing. Every so often I’ll come out of my own world and realize there are people around listening to me mutter to myself about whether I should get 2 apples or 3. I’m pretty convinced people take their babies everywhere with them because they can then talk to themselves without being judged. I mean you talk to a baby you’re just being cute and helping the kids brain development. Unlike me who has stood in front of the same section of canned food for far too long muttering about which one is the best price and how I really do like the name brand better, is labeled weird and avoided.
- Alone time
Can I just say and I know it will come as a shock, since I’m totally not a hermit who likes books more than people and would probably never see the sun if it wasn’t for work, but I love being alone. Underline it, bold it, write it under random important fact about me you may need later. Alone is the best thing that has ever been invented. Now I don’t mean lonely, which is a much different and eviler monster. I mean alone, like hang out at home with no one around to interact with. No one to ask you why you face looks angry/ sad or how your feeling or whatever human interaction you want to force on me. I will purposely miss family functions, text messages or ignore phone calls just to live in my little coon of alone time for however long I can. I feel I’m more productive and creative when I’m alone which just makes me want to be alone more and more often. My outgoing messages should be “So sorry if you haven’t heard from me yet I’m busy…being alone.”
- I’m a disaster
I can hear you all rolling your eyes because that’s what everyone thinks. But in this case I feel like it’s one of my main traits. Smart, funny, guaranteed to ruin nearly everything she touches. For you see I have the coordination of a baby deer and I mean fresh from birth shake legs stumbling baby deer. I once dropped a steak 3 times as I tried to take it from my kitchen counter to my kitchen table. No I wasn’t drunk, though in hindsight I wish I had been as that would have been a much better excuse then I simply lack the ability to corral a piece of meat on my plate. I have given up on being able to tell where and when a bruise, scrape or cut came from because it’s just too exhausting to try and figure out. Now 90% of the time when I find a new abrasion on my body I simply shrug put a Band-Aid on it if necessary and move on.
- I’m honest about nearly everything except my emotions.
If you ask me a question or want my opinion on a matter I’ll thinking it over I will give you my best and most honest answer I can. I pride myself on it, but when it comes to my emotions I will lie to you through my teeth. I could literally have tears pouring down my face and if you ask me why my response will always be, ‘I’m not crying I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ This is code for I’m having a moment right now and I need you to ignore it, no I don’t need a hug or want to talk about it I just want to be ignored. So please continue doing what it you’re doing and I’ll be back to myself soon. The worst thing you could ever do to be is pester me about my feelings. If and when I choose to share them with you, it’s my choice I don’t need your help expressing them.
- I hate romantic movies.
No I don’t hate love. No I’m not a heartless cynic. I just don’t like romantic movies, especially the hallmark/ lifetime movies that make me wish for actual death. I think love is something wonderful, beautiful, messy and complicated and even though I have never experienced it before I still have hope that one day I will. However it will not be like any of those stupid, nausea inducing movies, the women in my life insist on making me watch. It’s the same story every time, and they have learned their lesson by now that I will openly mock and criticize the story, characters and plot lines until they release me from the fiery hell that is this movie genre. So in the off chance that I ever meet you and we become friends, please don’t take me to those types of movies. Not only has it been years since I’ve actually been to a movie theater and the price of a ticket would no doubt make me cry but I can guarantee you, you don’t want me sitting next to you rolling my eyes and loudly sighing, not to mention muttering to myself about how the whole movie doesn’t matter because we know character A and B are going to be back together before the credits roll. Honestly it will be a miserable experience for you. Just take me to see something that blows up please. Or better yet let’s not go out at all and stay in and binge watch criminal minds.
Well that’s all the sharing you’re getting from me right now. And before you ask why only 6 it’s because six is half-ish of my favorite number. I hope this made you laugh and if you liked it be sure to check out some of my other blog post. Bye for now